Friday, June 18, 2010

3 Years and counting

The day is coming up......the day it was finally ended. It ended my nightmare or so I thought. Truth is the nightmare was not over, it was just the beginning of a long hard journey back. Back to me back to some sort of normality in my life. July 4, 2007. I guess because it falls on a holiday I will never forget that date. I had let him back into our lives yet once again. It didn't take long before he started screwing up again and making my life hell. Soon he started to disappear for days and I knew it would not be long before it would end again. We would fight and I would kick him out. That is they way I thought it would go. Up to this point he had not laid a hand on me in over 2 years. Well that streak would end on this early July 4th morning. He had been gone and unreachable for two days when he returned to my home at about 3am in the morning. I remember hearing him come into the house......lights came on and I barely got the chance to sit up when he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out the bed to the floor and down the hallway. Like he was a caveman or something. My daughters slept downstairs that night and my son just happened to be in the room next to mine. At least William had enough sense to close the bedroom door where he was. So at least he didn't see what was happening. I pried myself from him grasp and ran back to my room and positioned myself in the corner of the room on the floor. Here I was ........ once again in my fetal position that I knew all to well. TWO YEARS.....TWO YEARS ...... How after so long was I right back here?? I had came so far and it took a blink of an eye to be right back there....back in it.
William came back and forth to the room each time either kicking or hitting me in the head. At one point I was able to look at him in his eyes.....he was not there. He was yelling about something that absolutely no sense to me. Then again it never did when he went off. He was high, drunk you name it. He was no longer William. That is when something inside of me snapped. He was gonna kill me. That is all that I thought to myself.....He is gonna kill me and not even know he did it.
I immediately started to think of ways to get out of there to get help....that was all that was running through my mind. Where is my phone? I gotta get to my phone!! I remembered for some reason I had plugged it in to the charger in the kitchen. The next time he came into the room I decided to follow him when he left the room. The whole time I'm trying to talk to him trying to calm him down. I knew that I couldn't do it but it was a distraction from what my real motive was. To get to my phone. I was able to grab my phone and run to my room and I dialed 911 just as he jumped on my back grabbed the phone and broke it in half. After a few more blows to my head he left the room once again and I scampered on the bottom of my closet. MAYBE the call went through.....Maybe they will try to call back and just send an officer out to check it out.....Maybe I can just wait it out till they come.....they will come......wont they?
Truth was they were not coming If I waited they would find me dead. What now .... what can I do now. Across the room I saw the keys to the house that must have falled out his pocket during one of his attacks. On the key ring was the house alarm remote. New plan......I had to time it just right or he would stop me. I took a couple more attacks then just as he left the room I grabbed the keys and ran across the hall to the bedroom where my son was. Closed the door and positioned myself between the wall and the door to hold it shut. I pushed the key remote alarm and set the house alarm. I started yelling to my son "OPEN THE WINDOW.......OPEN THE WINDOW!!! NOWWWW! At this point William is breaking through the door and my foot has gone through the wall. He is yelling at my son to not open it. Luckily my son opened the window which automatically set off the house alarm. William continued to try and break through the door. I was afraid for my son...what if William got to him. Did I just put him in Danger. I yelled for my son to bust out the screen......"GO OUT THE WINDOW.....GO GO GET HELP! My son went out the window.
William stopped coming through the door and I heard the house phone ring. I knew he had to answer it or the police were gonna come. I ran out the room and waited for him to answer the phone at which point I started to scream. After I was sure they heard me I ran out the back door to find my son and get help. We knocked and pounded on neighbors door and in my neighborhood you just don't answer you door late at night. So no one came to the door. William knew the police was coming so as my son and I watched from across the street he got in the car and left.

I wish I could say it ended there but that was not the end of it, but the worst of it was over. He was out of our lives and has been out of our lives for the last 3 years. I was left to once again pick up the pieces to rebuild a home where my children might once again feel safe and secure. Sure it took time but we have done just that. Once again the anniversary of that date is upon us and I can't help but relive that night. It gets easier and easier each year and I am starting to look at this date as a beginning and not and ending.


  1. Summerfield's PetJune 21, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Bless your heart!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of your courage and your son's courage!!!!!! You are a beautiful person on the inside and outside and you will find ,if you want, that there is someone out there that will love you and treat you and your children the way you deserve to be treated and nothing less!

  2. you are a strong brave woman.keep your HEAD up bc you are a fabulous mommy to your beautiful babies.
    keep them safe. <3