I will admit that the video is shocking and most people were even more shocked at how he acted like nothing happened. Kicking and dragging her out of the elevator. I was not as shocked by this as most people I talked to. Having been in similar situations I understand the lack of concern and coldness that an abuser can have towards their victim. His only one true worry was about himself and getting caught.
There were a lot of posts on social media and I found myself reading a lot of what people had to say. People's comments shocked me more than what Ray Rice actually did. I was sickened by the lack of compassion people had for this woman. People were bashing and blaming her. They were holding her responsible because she did in fact marry him after this incident occurred. I read comment after comment that she must like being beat if she married him, calling her a gold digger and some even blamed her because she pushed him first. Reading these comments made it very clear as to why MOST women don't report domestic violence. Victim Bashing????? Really is this the world we live in? People do not understand the hold that an abuser has over their victims. Most people think it is as easy as opening and walking out the door. What people don't realize is that when a victim decides to make that move and break away it is the most dangerous time of all. This is the time when most women are killed by their abuser.
This brings me to the point of why now four years later I have decided to write in my blog again. A name most of you have probably never heard Kristin Florio-Gile was shot and killed this past weekend by her husband. You have probably never heard her name because unlike Janay Rice she is not famous. She was just a woman who was trying to escape and abusive marriage. She was trying to get out and was doing everything she could to get out and to leave. She called the police, she pressed charges, she filed for a PFA (protection from Abuse) order. She left and then she was shot to death..........Why? So why don't women "Just leave?" Think about Kristin, think about her six children who will no longer have a mother and then ask that question again. So why don't women just leave?
I didn't know Kristin personally or her family but I have thought about her a lot these last few days. This morning I thought about how her parents had to wake up and get their six grandchildren dressed, fed, loaded into vehicles and taken to the church to bury their mother. They have to be strong for their grandchildren while laying their daughter to rest. How does a parent do that? Is that even humanly possible?
Then as I sit here writing this looking out my window at the Sun shining......something that has not happened in almost a week I think about Kristin. I think about how beautiful it is outside today and I can't help but think she had something to do with this. Knowing her babies, her parents, her family and friends would be gathering today to celebrate her life she asked god to let her shine down on all of them so that maybe they could feel her warmth and know she was ok. Know that she will no longer have to live in fear and is safe in god's arms.
Kristin's story is not unique and statistic tell us that nearly three women are killed everyday.......EVERYDAY by their intimate partner. So just imagine Kristin's story and imagine that happening three times everyday in your lifetime. So why don't we just leave? Why do we put up with the abuse? Simple answers is because like most people we don't want to die. I'm not advocating for women to stay but maybe for some of you that "Don't Get It" to wake up......to step up......to get involved. I am one of the lucky ones, but I could of very well not have been. I wanted to post a picture of Krisitin and her children but I didn't feel like I had the right to do that. I wanted to post her picture because she should be the face we see across national news stations. Her story and those of the thousands of women who are killed every year are the stories we should hear and until that happens we are not going to make a difference. Parents will continue to bury their daughters and children will continue to lose their mothers.
