Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Doormat??

 I bet you probably think I feel in a whole somewhere.  I'm sorry and I wish I could tell you that I will be posting more often but with my life and schedule I just don't see that happening.  So what has prompted me to make this entry?  I've had a lot on my mind as of late and while driving into work this morning I felt the need to get it off my chest.  I knew what I had to say was way to long for a Facebook post so here I am to spew my thought on my blog.

There have been some posts on Facebook lately that for some reason have gotten under my skin and they have also made me take a look at myself and question how I treat others.  I like to think that I am a good friend majority of the time.  I've been told by people close to me that sometimes I can be somewhat of a doormat.  Now I am pretty sure I know what the definition  is of a doormat but I looked it up just to make sure.  The first definition I read on Urban dictionary states.....
Somebody who is always walked all over 
This is exactly what I thought a doormat meant and to this I take offense.  I like to think I don't let people do as they please with me.  I know I can be soft spoken and not always speak up for myself, but I also think that when I feel it is really important I do take a stand.  Then I came to this definition also found on Urban Dictionary.

Someone who's really nice, kind, generous and sweet; often also smart and funny. They can be outgoing and extroverted, but still allow certain/most people to walk all over them.
They are dedicated friends and partners, and infallibly there for anyone who needs them with advice, support, money, and expect nothing in return.

Now this is more of how I see myself.  I have friends who are in constant need and usually I always say yes to them but I do it in hopes that if one day I need them they too will be there for me.  With that said I don't like to ask people for help and I actually cringe just thinking about it.  I don't want to feel like I am a burden on anyone and I don't want people thinking I am taking advantage of their friendship.  So when I see or hear people constantly asking for a hand out it kind of pisses me off.  I don't know why I have this reaction and I'm not saying I'm correct in feeling this way but it is just how I feel.  

Don't get me wrong I have spend the majority of my life needing help and taking help from  people who mean the most to me, but I'd like to think that I've grown and learned from my mistakes.  I'm not saying it's wrong to get help from people either but it's those that are always looking for a hook up or for someone else to take care of "THEIR" responsibilities that gets under my skin.  My kids are MY RESPONSIBILITY!  If I sign them up for an activity I expect that I will be the one taking them and picking them up.  If my schedule does not allow for it then ..... I DON'T sign them up.  If I'm traveling out of town I make sure I have a place to stay and not expect others to Hook Me Up.  

I realize I might piss some people off with this post but I don't really care.  Who knows maybe this will make them take a look at themselves......Doubt it.  
I mean I could be totally wrong but I truly believe that you should treat others how you would want to be treated and I like to think I do that.