Thursday, October 6, 2011


Is it normal to question every move .... every decision we make?  I often wonder if I'm ready to be dating?  I wonder if I can handle having a man in my life full time.....if I COULD bring a man into my children lives.  I've been out of my abusive relationship for 3 years and 7 months (yes I'm counting) and I still question if I'm ready....if my children are ready.  Can I allow myself to open up to someone knowing that I might get hurt again?  I sometimes wonder if I can even feel anymore?  It's not that I don't want to because I do...I really do but it just seems like I have no emotion involved in any of it.  At this point it is not even about men tearing down my walls as much as it is about Me tearing down my own walls.

This is exactly what Domestic Violence Looks like!

I remember this first time I saw her story.  She was on an episode of Oprah and when I saw the video of her being abused I started to shake and I think this is the first time I had what most people call a panic attack.  Why?  Because that was me standing in that room, that way me trying to not make any sudden movements or say the wrong things.  That was me with my hands up protecting my face from the blows that I knew were about to come.  It was as if someone was reenacting a scene from my life.  The truth was this was not my story.  We were two totally separate women living separate lives but we were linked by our stories.  Our stories of abuse and our stories of survival.  I have now watched her story more then 20 times and each time it has gotten easier and easier because I know how her story ends and I know how my ends.  Anyone who has no clue what goes on in an abusive home should watch this video because this is REAL. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Telling Amy's Story | Domestic Violence Documentary Film and Public Service Media Project

This month only in Honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month you can watch the whole film. It is very powerful and speaks as to what life is like for a women living in abuse.