Thursday, October 14, 2010

Life Changing = Support

This whole week was pretty emotional.  We attended a candlelight vigil to remember those who lost their lives to domestic violence and to honor those who have survived.  There were 4 survivors that spoke each were at diffrent stages in their journey.  One was a year out and another was just six weeks since she got away from her abuser.  It helped me to remember that this is all a process and even though I've been out a little over three years now, it helps me understand that in three years from today I am still going to be processing it in a diffrent way but it is always going to be a part of me.  I'm not really upset about that and I know that sounds a little strange but I like the person that I am today and I know that I am who I am because of my experiences so I cannot discount any of those events no matter how horrible they were.
The vigil was very good in the sense that there was a lot of support in that room.  There was a family of a women who is not with us today and then there were women who are currently in the shelter now.  It was just great to hear their support for one another.  It helped to remind me that we are not in this alone that we don't have to go through this alone.  Understanding that and learning that is just enormous and to a women who is still in the situation it can be life changing.  I know coming into contact with other women in the shelter and survivors was simply life changing to me.  It meant a lot that I could finally talk about my experiences and tell them my story and know that the people I was talking to understood and were not judging me and they had walked in my shoes.   I remember when I first heard them tell their stories. I felt a closeness to them that is unexplainable. When they talked about their hurt I felt their hurt because I had been right their with them.  I think that is just an overwhelming thing to survivors and to those who are still in it and THAT is the one thing if anything I can get across is that your not alone....We are not alone.  Abusers try to make you feel so alone and they cut you off from everyone from any kind of support.  If you can find that one person or group and just understand that you are not alone.  That can help you start to rebuild and make yourself stronger so that when you are ready one day you can be strong enough to leave.
I understand what a dangerous thing it can be but getting those support groups out there and ensuring the safety of the women to be able to attend ......... it would could be........LIFE CHANGING